Movies

Spiderman 3, universally panned, earns a hundred and fifty million dollars opening weekend. Thank you everyone who went to see it for ruining movies that much more. On the other hand, watched Xmen 3 on tv: the x-men movies are so good.

Cheney receives political re-education; sees error of past ways

Vice-Scum Cheney was visiting a base in Afghanistan and somebody suicide bombed outside and Cheney wasn't physically injured in the slightest. What is the New York Times headline? "Cheney OK After Explosion in Afghanistan" Excuse me, since he was more than a few rungs down from anything resembling "ok" before the explosion (usually hovering between evil overlord and god of death), how did he become "OK" after the explosion? Was it an explosion of South End Press books and subscription forms to Left Turn and Z? Was there some sort of sonic shift that altered his brain to render the evil disabled? Did he reflect on our common mortality and have an epiphany on his place in the world?
Frustratingly enough, the article makes no mention of any of these possibilities. Which leads me to believe that Cheney was not "OK" after his blast. Perhaps a mopre apt headline would've been: "Evil uninterrupted by bombing."

This Just in: disposable human commodity has prominent placement in disposable commodity

SAT Time: I'm as to Celebrity News as _____________ is to _______________.

a) Rich people; golf claps.
b) Senators; campaign finance reform.
c) Scorcese; Oscars, or
d) Audrey Hepbrun; colorectal cancer.

The answer is D because that shit is killing me! I'm so sick of celebrity news. We need to have a celebrity news moratorium. I was watching Democracy Now the other day and they were talking about the guy who got murdered by the pigs the day before his wedding. Amy Goodman had on Amadou Diallou's mother talking about her experience and her insights. She said a bunch of great shit about how the police view black men as threats and that this need to be talked about. What was on CNN? Some schmuck talking about youtube on cellphones. What did the NY Times write? They quoted police professors who were all like "you don't understand. The shit is contagious! Like AIDS."
What does this have to do with celebrity news? CNN and the Times couldn't get away with this half assed cornball shit if they didn't choke us down with Britney Spears and K-Fed. We need to quit talking about everything and just mail bags of dogshit to ABC CBS NBC FOX CNN ETC for every segment they do on celebrities in the real news. After a year of straight moratorium, if they want to have the entertainment half-hour a day, they can (We already know about gawker if we want to be shallow). But Headline news should not mention celebrity divorces. Now dogshit might seem a little extreme, except not only are they dumbing us a down as a people, they're doing it to cross-market their various corporate enterprises. The company that owns the news also owns the movie studios and the record companies and they're using what is supposed to be keeping us informed for free publicity to advertise their stars.
What I would give to see a Brian Williams solemnly plead to the viewers not to mail any more dog excrement into the mailroom just because he announced that Beyonce fell down a flight of steps.